Another Year Over and a New One yet to Come.

Hello, Dear Friends and Family, I hope that your 

Christmas was filled with sweet blessings of hope. 

I know that the holidays are not always happy for so 

many of us, and can magnify grief or loss, 

 difficult circumstances, distance from loved ones, 

and failed expectations.

Life has its challenging moments and the holidays 

can bring many emotions and memories to the surface,

some not so merry.  

I think that we can all relate to these things. 

How many of us have spent holidays in ICU wards, 

or hospice, or had a child who was ill......

How many of us have found ourselves far away

from those we love and possibly alone.......

How many of us have had lean years, or 

sorrowful years when we have lost loved ones, or have 

been battling illness or injury ourselves? 

I'm sure every one of us can raise our hands.

And let's all remember the honorable and self-sacrificing
military personnel and their families, which are in
a special category all their own, and deserve our
utmost gratitude and consideration. 

My Dear Mother was always sad during the holidays. 

It brought back memories for her of a difficult 

childhood, growing up in the depression, 

when sometimes they wouldn't even get one gift. 

There were 8 children, and my Grandfather was a 

commercial fisherman. 

At least he had a job.......

But they were fiercely proud, and when, one year

a charity came to the door with a bag full of presents, 

my Grandmother sent them away. 

Christmas would fill my Mother with these sad memories,

and she was frequently melancholy, which affected 

her own family, too. 

Many times she would have to retreat to her room, 

leaving me, as the eldest, to carry on for 

my 4 younger siblings and my Dad. 

My Mother battled depression her whole life. 

Or I should say, our whole family battled my 

Mother's depression all our life. 

Christmas was frequently a sad and somber affair for us all, 

even as adults, because of this. 

Christmas has always been a sad reminder for 

my sweet Ramblin' Man of how far away 

we are from his own family. 

We left them all behind when we moved out west 

as newlyweds, knowing not a soul, 

and too poor to travel back home. 

One Christmas day, soon after we left, 

we found ourselves in a little cafe' feeling sorry for ourselves. 

We had no telephone (it was years before cell phones), 

and we used up our cache' of quarters at the 

phone booth in the parking lot to call 'home', 

getting only 3 minutes per family to send our love. 

As we ate our humble pie in our window booth, 

we looked out to see a little family - a man, a woman, 

and a little child, obviously homeless, walking by with backpacks

and raggedy clothes. 

At that moment we realized how fortunate we were. 

We were healthy, we had shelter and food, 

and we had hope. 

 Later, as a Father of four, 

traveling 'home' for Christmas was financially 

and logistically out of reach. 

Then, right before Christmas just a couple of years ago,

we lost his Dear Mother, which now makes Christmas especially poignant. 

All four of our parents are gone now, and no matter 

how old you get to be, losing your parents can 

make you feel quite like an orphan. 

Even (or maybe especially) if some of those 

relationships were difficult. 

Sometimes there is no closure. 

And sometimes Christmas wasn't a day of joy. 

Also, with each year that goes by, we are acutely aware 

of friends and co-workers that are no longer with us. 

And hardest of all, many have lost

  beloved partners or children. 

Christmas can seem like a terrible joke. 

All that sparkle, glitter, and 'cheer'

can seem cruel when you are grieving and all alone. 

We must translate our emotions into something meaningful

and heartfelt. We must honor those we have lost, reach out 

to those we miss, and share our feelings with those we love. 

We must find our own reason to shine. 

As another year comes to a close, we can 

look back and take stock of all that we have experienced, 

putting it all into a basket labeled, 'live and learn'. 

We can add meaning to our lives by looking at difficult 

moments and losses as gifts. 

Gifts of compassion. 

Not only do we have compassion for others who experience 

these things, but we must have compassion for ourselves, too. 

Compassion, not with self-pity, but with insight into 

how we can become better people by overcoming 

our pasts, our sorrows, and our grief by honoring our loved ones

who have left us behind. 

Honoring the struggles we have faced with courage. 

Honoring the losses we have suffered by 

emulating all those good qualities that were passed along to us, 

honoring our disappointments with gratitude for all 

that we have.  

The word I have chosen for 2019 is 'kindness'. 

Kindness not only for others, but kindness for ourselves. 

Kindness is the brother of 'forgiveness'. 

When we can be kind and forgiving to ourselves, 

we can pass this on to others. 

In a world of diminishing compassion, we must fight 

this trend with kindness and understanding. 

It all begins in our own hearts. 

And because of my Irish roots, I would like to 

offer an Irish New Year Blessing or two......

Always remember to forget

The troubles that pass away. 

But never forget to remember

The Blessings that come each day. 

xoxo

Count your blessings instead of your crosses.

Count your gains instead of your losses. 

Count your joys instead of your woes.

Count your friends instead of your foes. 

Count your smiles instead of your tears. 

Count your courage instead of your fears. 

Count your full times instead of your lean. 

Count your kind deeds instead of your mean. 

Count your health instead of your wealth. 

Love your neighbor instead of your self. 

xoxo

Wishing all of you a New Year filled with hope, courage and faith. 

And plenty of kindness. 

xoxo