Gift From The Sea

I have just finished reading 'Gift From The Sea', by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

Published in 1955, this book is timeless in its message of finding balance in the many roles of being a woman.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh was a woman very much ahead of her time. Born in 1906, and receiving a Bachelor of Arts Degree at Smith College in 1928, she was a much acclaimed writer. Not only that, but she was the first American woman to earn a first class glider pilot's licence in 1930.

She married her famous Aviator husband, Charles Lindbergh in 1929 and stayed married for 45 years until Charles' death in 1974. Together, they traveled the world, and had 6 children.

Tragically, their first born, Charles Jr. was kidnapped and murdered when he was only 20 months old. The notoriety and publicity caused them to flee America and live oversees in England and France until 1938, after which they established a permanent home on the Connecticut coast. 

When Ann wrote 'Gift From The Sea', she was on a rare solitary vacation to an Atlantic island, away from her busy life as Wife and Mother, reflecting on her many roles as a woman, and searching for simplicity and balance.

Beautiful art card given to me by a special friend
www.williefulton.com

 This is where her book begins, on the beach during that island retreat.

She finds shells, (gifts from the sea) and each chapter is an analogy of how the characteristics of the shells she finds correspond to the various stages of a woman's life.

Right away we find a timeless message. She writes that women are like the hub of a wheel, 'with interests and duties raying out, the patterns of our lives essentially circular.' That 'we must be open to all points of the compass, with husband, children, friends, home, community; stretched out, exposed, sensitive like a spider's web to each breeze that blows, to each call that comes.'

She goes on to say, 'The problem is not merely one of Woman and Career, Woman and the Home, Woman and Independence. It is more basically: how to remain whole in the midst of the distractions of life; how to remain balanced, no matter what centrifugal forces tend to pull one off center; how to remain strong, no matter what shocks come in at the periphery and tend to crack the hub of the wheel.'

'Seaside Sampler' knotted years ago by me with knots learned from my sea-faring Grandfather.

She then goes on to speak of how we as women are always spilling ourselves away. We give and give until we find that our 'cup that runneth over', comes up empty, drained away. That we must find a way to replenish our pitchers.

We must find the time to honor our lives, our creativity, our core essence by finding solitude to reflect inward.

She spins her story so lyrically, so beautifully, so empathically, you feel like someone finally understands.

Hand painted tray with decoupaged copy of a watercolor harbor, painted by my Mother as a school girl.

With grace and sensitivity, she writes of the need for women to validate themselves by taking time to step back, look inward, and find our core selves once more.

She writes, 'When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others, too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others.'

Straw bag with embroidered seascape, part of my straw bag collection

She speaks of how women have come so far in achieving equality and rights, but to be wary of stretching ourselves so far that we lose our balance, we lose our focus. We cannot be all things to all people. We must take time for solitude, creativity, inward reflection. To give ourselves permission. To learn the fine art of incorporating the things we love into our busy lives.

Something that she speaks of is how we as women should strive to retain autonomy, how we get caught up in our relationships, losing ourselves in the process. Of how important it is to keep in touch with our true essence.
I remember reading once, that an easy way to do this is to think of how you felt when you were 11 years old. A time in our lives when we were fully ourselves, old enough to have formed our personality, to find our likes and dislikes, but young enough to not be entangled in relationships, work, and all of the constraints of adulthood.
Try to remember what that felt like. Free. Joyful. Living in the Moment.

Seascape found in vintage shop

We need to remember how it felt to just be us. Not part of a marriage. Not a mother. Just our very own selves. Too often we forget what that feels like, we become absorbed and distracted with our partner,  with our children, with the day to day routine of life.

We forget the truth of Saint-Exupery's line: ' Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.'

Love does not remain stagnant, romantic love turns to devotion, to companionship woven with memories, commonalities, shared experience.

And then she states, 'The tide of life recedes.' The house begins to empty, the children go away to live lives of their own. This is when it is tempting to try and recapture that early romance of the beginning relationship. But one has outgrown that rigidly symmetrical shell. One cannot go back, only forward to a 'time of shedding shells, shedding ambition, shedding ego.'

Middle age can be a time of shedding armor, being completely oneself.
If one has spent time finding your true essence , every time of life presents an opportunity.  Not dependent upon any other to validate yourself, you can become a 'World to oneself'.

Original painting by unknown California artist

She shares a quote by the German poet Rilke - 'A complete sharing between two people is an impossibility and whenever it seems, nevertheless, to exist, it is a narrowing, a mutual agreement which robs either one member or both of his fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that, even between the closest human beings, infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole and against a wide sky!'

And while we as women are always concerned with the world at large, the concerns of society, the worries of what the future will bring, we must remember the value of the here and now. This lovely treasure of a book reminds us that we as women are the ones who never forget each family member's uniqueness, we hold witness to the 'spontaneity of now, the vividness of here.' These small moments make up the whole, 'like drops that make up a stream'. She says that when we center ourselves, our circle of life extends outward from a stable hub.

I couldn't agree more.



Easy Healthy Pasta

This is a quick and easy pasta dish that can be adapted to your particular taste. Made with fresh or canned tomatoes, olive oil, whole wheat pasta,  and fresh veggies and herbs, this makes a great dish for those looking for an easy, healthy alternative to heavy pasta sauces.

It also keeps well, and can be reheated for next day lunch or dinner.

Easy Healthy Pasta

Serves 4-6

 2-4 Tbsp Olive Oil or Canola Oil

1 med. yellow or white onion, chopped

1-2 cloves garlic  

8-10 chopped plum tomatoes (or 5-6 chopped regular tomatoes, or 2 cups cherry or grape tomatoes)

Alternately

2-3 cans stewed or diced tomatoes in flavor of choice

(you can combine canned and fresh tomatoes, too!)

(I used 2 cans Italian flavored Stewed tomatoes and 1 cup fresh grape tomatoes)

Fresh or Frozen Broccoli (or whatever you like- zucchini, kale, spinach )

3-4 cups dry whole wheat pasta

Fresh or dried Oregano, Basil or both, to taste

(start with 1 tsp each, dried or 1 tbsp fresh)

Secret Ingredient (this can be your signature flavoring - mine is Worcestershire Sauce! I add 2-3 Tbsp)

You can try red pepper flakes, Italian seasoning, garlic salt, etc.

 Pitted Black Olives (if desired)

Fresh grated Parmesan

Start by chopping the onion and garlic. Heat oil in very large saute pan (this will end up holding everything, so make sure it is large enough and has a lid)

Add onion/garlic to oil and saute until onions are translucent and soft.

Meanwhile, heat water for pasta and cook until al-dente'.

This is where I add my secret ingredient; Worcestershire Sauce!

Next, add the tomatoes and herbs. Heat until just hot and bubbling.

Add chopped broccoli, cover pan with lid, and cook on med. heat until broccoli is just tender enough to pierce with a fork.

Add the cooked pasta and black olives. Toss well. Season with salt and pepper if desired. Cover pan with lid and heat through, or turn to low and keep covered if not serving right away.

Serve with fresh grated Parmesan, crusty bread, and a green salad.

Don't forget the checked tablecloth, candles and red wine!

Molto Deliziosa!

Very Delicious!

A Wonderful Sunday

Linking to Simple Sunday :

http://www.cottage1945.com/

 

I woke up this morning to light rain, but the sun is peeking out now through the fast moving clouds.

It leaves patches of bright sunlight, chasing away the dampness and warming up the house.

As I brew my tea and fill the toaster, I think about my lovely Sunday.

A day spent with loved ones.

A trip to see a Father in the nursing home, with a Sister and a Niece, and a beloved Daughter.

Two Mothers. Two Sisters. With Two Daughters to see a much Loved Father and Grandfather.

A stop at the market on the way home for some fresh ingredients.

Some simple cooking.

A little writing.

An evening stroll to admire new daffodils planted last fall.

A little treasure, found on the way.

And some beautiful bedside reading.

A wonderful Sunday.

Fairy Lights and Ashes

This morning I woke up early to a beautiful sunrise. It was the promise of a beautiful day.

My first task was a date with the ironing board. My ramblin' man was going out of town on business and my job was to prepare his clothes.

That done, I wandered into the living room where he had already lit the fire.

I sip my coffee while I wait to say goodbye.  I look out the window at the rising sun.

There are certain times of day here when shadows appear to come to life. It's when the sun is low, when the rays skitter through the undergrowth. Your eyes play tricks on you, and your mind can conjure up all sorts of imaginations. Shapes shift, shadows pounce, and you find it hard to distinguish reality from illusion.

My senses are on high alert as I step out onto the deck. The sharp morning air brings me the scent of awakening forest, damp with yesterday's rain. I scan the undergrowth, the edges, looking for movement. Is that a deer? No, just an old stump. What is that crouching by the fence line? My heart races and adrenaline surges into my fingertips. It is only a shadow.

I see a dew drop catch the light and turn a brilliant red, flashing in the sunshine. I call these Fairy Lights, only seen at certain times of year, spring and fall, when the sun rays are low. One little drop will form a perfect prism. I have seen red, blue and green, flashing so brilliant, you can believe they have a light from within.

Have you ever seen one?

My ramblin' man is ready to go. I hate saying goodbye. He leaves me at the door with a kiss. I watch from the kitchen window as he waves his hand at me all the way up the long driveway.

My time stretches out before me.

I am acutely aware of the fact that he will be many miles away.

But as the sun rises higher in the sky and illuminates the shadows once again, these thoughts dissipate for now.

I won't be alone. I have my little guardian. And he really needs a bath. He rolled in ashes from some out door burning we did last weekend. His face is all smutty. His back is all grimy. He looks so silly that I can't get angry. But I cover the ashes with a grate until I can clean them up.

It will be a warm and sunny day and when I am done washing my little friend, we will sit on the deck together; he drying in the sun, I writing a letter to my Dear Aunt Bette, my Mother's younger sister, who just turned 74, and who has been my pen pal for longer than I can remember.

Much too soon the sun gets low once more, turning the hills to gold.

And streaking the sky with color. Once more, shadows come alive. It is time to nestle in, to sweep the hearth and light the fire, and try to keep imagination from going wild.

 

I will leave you with the ending quote from one of my favorite television series, 'In Plain Sight'.

"There's a reason we outgrow Fairy Tales.

Let's face it - Happily Ever After is a crock, a con - just a shell game for the sucker on the street.

They're just pretty words, the empty bookend to Once Upon a Time.

But our lives aren't determined by some story book - star crossed destiny, determined by what we're told is meant to be.

Our lives are determined by dumb luck, the actions we take, and the courage we summon at our moments of truth.

Unlike Fairy Tales, real life doesn't come with 'The End' in gilded cursive on the very last page. Happily Ever After, for most of us is really just the beginning.

There's a million ever afters in everybody's lives, because every time you think you've reached the finish line....

The gun goes off again."

Spring Beauty

The Pink Current are blooming. These grow wild here and attract the first returning Hummingbirds.

I am fortunate to have several on the property, but only one close enough to the house to observe the Hummingbirds. They produce clusters of white 'currents' once they are done flowering, that birds love.

My little cat Ninky has made a little trampled down path in the ground cover beneath it. He actually lies there for hours waiting to catch a Hummingbird. But I know he will never catch one. They are much too quick.

When they are not dining on nature's bounty, they visit my new feeder. I love the little buzzing noise they make. These are Rufus Hummingbirds. The Anna's Hummingbird that overwintered here is gone. Maybe I will see her next winter.

We have had beautiful sunny weather for the last few days, but today we have a light rain. I have been under the weather with a head cold and have only felt like sitting on the deck in the sunshine. There is so much to do in the yard, but it will have to wait until I feel better.

These two beauties were grazing in the lush spring grass in the little meadow across the road from the top of my driveway. It is a mother and her half grown fawn. They have an unusual light coloring, especially the fawn. Mother was undisturbed by my presence, but baby was a little unsure.

My little pots of crocus are putting on quite a show right now. I can't plant them in the ground due to all the hungry little creatures willing to devour them. Someone did discover them on my deck railing and pulled a few out. I found just the stalks, minus the bulbs and flowers. But the little thief hasn't been back. My cats and Whitey patrol the deck and don't look kindly on intruders.

This little forsythia was grown from a cutting. I had planted one outside my gate at the top of the driveway, and some little neighbor boys decided they would relieve it of it's beautiful whip-like branches one year. I was very dismayed to find it in tatters. But there were a few branches lying on the ground and I took them in and put them in water. To my delight, they rooted and here is the result. It has taken quite a few years, but it is getting prettier and prettier. The forsythia at the top of the driveway has recovered, also. The neighbor boys are all grown up now. The gray plants are lavender that I planted in a whiskey barrel last fall.

One flower that seems to survive deer, slugs, hail, snow, and every other plague around here are the daffodils. I plant bags of them every fall. Some don't take in our rocky, clay soil, but most do. Right now they are putting on quite a show. I tuck them in under trees, alongside rock walls, and along the edges of the forest where they are so bright and cheery.

This dainty cluster of waxy white flowers belong to the Indian Plum Tree. Don't let the fragile beauty fool you, these little flowers stink to high heavens. I once brought in an armful to display on the table and they filled the house with the scent of skunk du jour. They attract a little fly for pollination and then produce perfect little miniature plums that the birds devour. Consequently, we have them sprouting up everywhere, as the birds scatter the little pits. They are pretty little understory trees with bright green leaves and the first to flower every spring. They are also the first leaves to turn in the fall, into a lovely golden yellow.

We encourage their presence, as they are hardy, have no pests, and feed the wildlife. You couldn't buy a lovelier little tree.

The primrose that I planted in pots are so bright and happy. Slugs love these and so I never plant them in the ground. I couldn't put out enough slug bait to keep them safe (always wildlife and pet safe brands). So I am happy to keep them in pretty pots to enjoy up close.

These I keep by the front door. Their happy faces welcome all who enter.

And who can resist having a secret conversation with these little faces? Again, I keep them safe in pots on my deck, as they are a delicacy.

I have learned over the years to work with nature to have beautiful flowers all around me. I refuse to use chemicals and poisons to bend nature to my will. I have found that once you obey nature's laws, she will work with you in ways you could never imagine. I am surrounded by beautiful wild flora and fauna that can never be reproduced by man's limited hand. I encourage everyone to learn about native plants and introduce these carefree and beneficial plantings into your own garden. Not only will you be rewarded with carefree beauty, but you will benefit all of nature.